30 Days of Truth (Day 6)

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.

Quite honestly, I hope I never again have to decide the fate of another.

I remember when my sister died. She went into the hospital with a kidney infection. When they took her into surgery, she was alert, awake, and breathing on her own. When she came out, she was on a respirator and had a septic infection, you know, the horrid kind you get at the hospital. She was on the respirator for too long, and her lungs ruptured. The Dr. told us that, from that point on, it would be a series of emergencies that ultimately culminated in my sister's death. She wasn't coming back, and we had to decide what to do about the machinery that was sustaining her life. This is when my mom looked at me and said, "you decide."

It took me 5 minutes, but those were, by far, the most challenging 5 minutes ever. You have to decide if another person continues to exist? How does that happen? And how fucked up to put that off on another person??

Would the person in question WANT to be lying in a bed for the rest of eternity tethered to machines? I know I wouldn't want to, but what gives me the right to speak for another? Are they truly not coming back? Is all hope exhausted? Truly exhausted?

So... I decided to end it. I was satisfied by the physician's findings, and I realized she wasn't coming back. I asked the only question I could... Could we donate anything? Yes, folks, if you aren't ON RECORD as being staunchly opposed to organ donation, another person CAN decide that for you. Make sure you make the decent choice because, if I have anything to do with it, I will give anything useable to another person.

Still? It's a decision I hope to never have to make again. People shouldn't be forced by the cosmos to linger. They should either be, or they should not be. This, of course, should be painless and after all figurative accounts have been settled to the person's liking.