Down 66 pounds... still.
I guess my body is catching up from last month's 3 weeks of near starvation. I don't think I'm eating any differently, and I've gone back to the gym. Why isn't that scale budging? I really wish they'd just taken my gallbladder out when they did my bypass. I need to slow my mind down and just look at this like any other plateau. This, too, shall pass.
It's almost time to go buy new clothes. I'm excited that I "get to", but I'm ambivalent because I really don't know what's out there now. That, and ... hey ... I've always been oddly proportioned. That hasn't changed even though I've lost the equivalent of a 7 year old. I'm still thick around the middle and will have a muffin top forever or... until I get my tummy tuck. I guess I'm afraid that newer, smaller clothes are just going to make me feel huge again. It's a mind fuck of sorts. Smaller clothes making me feel huge. Hopefully, someone, somewhere, understands. Maybe I'll end up looking in a mirror and feeling like a jackass for saying that.
In order to realize that I'm not fucking up big time, I have decided to log my food and exercise through myfitnesspal for a few days. Then, I'll know if I'm really doing what the doctor ordered or if I'm screwing myself all to hell and back. I guess we shall see!!
I cleared my closets out. I pulled out about 15 pair of pants/capris that are too big for me.
That's about it for today.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Week 19
Down 66 pounds.
I wish, when the nutritionist handed me a list of new things I can eat at my last check up, that popcorn had never been on the list. Here I am trying to break another addiction. Yeah... it's the least of evils because it's minimal calories, and I do get the "light" kind, but... It's yet another thing I mindlessly shove in my mouth. I could be using my meal opportunities to get real nutrition.
I'm pretty sure I'm fully recovered from my gallbladder surgery. Nothing hurts, so I went to the gym yesterday. I was pretty impressed with myself. I went a whole 30 minutes on the elliptical after not having worked out for almost 2 months. I figured I'd be missing out on all the progress I'd made. I guess not.
This month is my 5 month surgery anniversary. Next month, I get to have steak. I'm soooo excited. Michael and I have decided that's what we'll have for our anniversary dinner.
I've been slacking because there's really not much to say anymore.
I have good days and bad days. I have days where, even though I can now wear the smallest clothes in my closet, I know that, unless you knew me before, if you looked at me, you'd still see a fat girl. I have days where none of that matters and all I can see is a girl who is getting where she needs to be and is proud of herself. The difference in those days? I blame hormones.
I wish, when the nutritionist handed me a list of new things I can eat at my last check up, that popcorn had never been on the list. Here I am trying to break another addiction. Yeah... it's the least of evils because it's minimal calories, and I do get the "light" kind, but... It's yet another thing I mindlessly shove in my mouth. I could be using my meal opportunities to get real nutrition.
I'm pretty sure I'm fully recovered from my gallbladder surgery. Nothing hurts, so I went to the gym yesterday. I was pretty impressed with myself. I went a whole 30 minutes on the elliptical after not having worked out for almost 2 months. I figured I'd be missing out on all the progress I'd made. I guess not.
This month is my 5 month surgery anniversary. Next month, I get to have steak. I'm soooo excited. Michael and I have decided that's what we'll have for our anniversary dinner.
I've been slacking because there's really not much to say anymore.
I have good days and bad days. I have days where, even though I can now wear the smallest clothes in my closet, I know that, unless you knew me before, if you looked at me, you'd still see a fat girl. I have days where none of that matters and all I can see is a girl who is getting where she needs to be and is proud of herself. The difference in those days? I blame hormones.
Friday, March 27, 2015
Week 17
Down 62 pounds.
This week saw my 4 month surgery anniversary and a return trip to the hospital. Apparently, I got some kind of infection after the gall bladder removal. I was in from last Friday night until this past Tuesday afternoon.
I'm really thankful for the nurses and staff at Summa Akron City Hospital. They were so awesome to me. I'm certain there were people on my floor with way more pressing issues, but, when they were with me, I felt like priority one. Once again, I had a very nice roommate.
I finally seem to be on the mend for real this time. Hopefully, it won't be very long until I can get myself back into the gym. I really do miss it. I guess I'll find out about that this coming Wednesday. I have an appointment with my surgeon for a follow up.
Tonight, I dug my "goal" jeans out of the closet and tried them on. I still have a little girth around the middle to shed. I'm not sure if it's swelling from the surgery or some more weight. Probably even it's a little of both. Ah well... Guess what? I'm getting there!!!
My gall bladder surgery and subsequent infection have set me back a little bit, food wise. I seem to not be able to consume as much at any one time. I was at about half to 3/4 of a cup, and now I'm probably lucky to get 1/4 cup in. I also know my water intake is suffering. I know it'll pass and get better. I know it will.
The bright side is that I don't need to take this one prescription that's supposed to prevent gall stones anymore. haha.
Well... this is about all I've got. See ya next week!!
This week saw my 4 month surgery anniversary and a return trip to the hospital. Apparently, I got some kind of infection after the gall bladder removal. I was in from last Friday night until this past Tuesday afternoon.
I'm really thankful for the nurses and staff at Summa Akron City Hospital. They were so awesome to me. I'm certain there were people on my floor with way more pressing issues, but, when they were with me, I felt like priority one. Once again, I had a very nice roommate.
I finally seem to be on the mend for real this time. Hopefully, it won't be very long until I can get myself back into the gym. I really do miss it. I guess I'll find out about that this coming Wednesday. I have an appointment with my surgeon for a follow up.
Tonight, I dug my "goal" jeans out of the closet and tried them on. I still have a little girth around the middle to shed. I'm not sure if it's swelling from the surgery or some more weight. Probably even it's a little of both. Ah well... Guess what? I'm getting there!!!
My gall bladder surgery and subsequent infection have set me back a little bit, food wise. I seem to not be able to consume as much at any one time. I was at about half to 3/4 of a cup, and now I'm probably lucky to get 1/4 cup in. I also know my water intake is suffering. I know it'll pass and get better. I know it will.
The bright side is that I don't need to take this one prescription that's supposed to prevent gall stones anymore. haha.
Well... this is about all I've got. See ya next week!!
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Weeks 15-16 (had some action there)
Down 54 pounds as of yesterday. It's probably more, but I forgot to weigh in today.
Starting back at my 3 month follow up appointment... Just about everything looked great. They're happy with my loss, and my nutrition numbers look good. However... (and isn't there always a "but"?) My bilirubin numbers were high, which made them want to look into my gall bladder function again. They checked pre-surgery for this same reason, but they were never able to document any problems, so they went ahead and left the gall bladder in. The first order of business was an ultrasound of the gall bladder, which got scheduled for early the next week.
It made me wonder. Because, I've known a lot of people who agonized for years with gall bladder issues, and it seems like they aren't really able to do anything about it until they catch it in the middle of acting up. I wondered how long I'd have to carry this issue around before we could do something about it. Then, Sunday night rolled around.
I was actually woken up by a nasty pain in my abdomen... right in the middle, where your ribs come together, and some off to the right. It was a nasty pain, and I remember having had it before, many times, prior to my bypass.
Eventually, it made me vomiting sick. The only trouble with that is that it had been hours since I'd eaten/drank anything, so there wasn't anything to come out. I spent hours that night dry-heaving. Dry heaving sucks ass when you don't have rearranged innards, but DAMN is it even worse when you do. Anyhow, I called the doctor's office because it concerned me, the idea that I may be damaging my stomach pouch with all this non-productive vomiting activity. They prescribed me anti-nausea medication and basically told me to take it easy for a few days. Likely, they said, I just had caught a stomach bug from someone. Well, the anti-nausea medication didn't work, and I had gone 3 days without eating, plus, it had taken 24 hours for me to drink a 20 oz container of gatorade. I then got paranoid about dehydration, which is a HUGE no-no after bariatric surgery. In a fit of pure paranoia, I had Michael take me to the Emergency Room.
They hooked me up to an IV for hydration and began poking my abdomen with their sharp little fingers. I guess I made this face because the physician's assistant said, "OMG... I'll bet it's your gall bladder." I told her I'd just had an ultrasound taken of it that day, so she got really excited and said she was going to go look at it. I'll bet they wished all their cases were so easy to diagnose. Knowing the potential issue, they gave me shots for pain and nausea through the IV. It was soooo nice to lie there for a few hours and not feel that nasty sickness or need to hurl up something that wasn't even there.
At that point, the doctor came in and told me that they were admitting me, doing a couple other tests, and likely removing my gall bladder while I was there.
And so it went.
My surgeon told me my gall bladder was in bad shape, and that, when he'd removed it, there were stones the size of olives in it. WOW. I guess I was lucky it decided to act up when it did because it sure looked like I was in for even more sickness and pain and waiting for who knows how long to be able to prove what was wrong? It also amazes me to think back and realize that, if these were the symptoms of a bad gall bladder, then I've had a bad gall bladder for years. Every so often, I'd get sick in this manner, but it always passed. I'd always chalked it up to a stomach bug or having eaten something "bad".
Some things feel much better already. This pain, however, doesn't seem to want to let go. I'm sure it's just because I've just had another major surgery not so very long ago. I know that kind of thing factors in. All this, though, I'm sure will be worth it when I finally feel back to 100%. And I know I'll get there.
Starting back at my 3 month follow up appointment... Just about everything looked great. They're happy with my loss, and my nutrition numbers look good. However... (and isn't there always a "but"?) My bilirubin numbers were high, which made them want to look into my gall bladder function again. They checked pre-surgery for this same reason, but they were never able to document any problems, so they went ahead and left the gall bladder in. The first order of business was an ultrasound of the gall bladder, which got scheduled for early the next week.
It made me wonder. Because, I've known a lot of people who agonized for years with gall bladder issues, and it seems like they aren't really able to do anything about it until they catch it in the middle of acting up. I wondered how long I'd have to carry this issue around before we could do something about it. Then, Sunday night rolled around.
I was actually woken up by a nasty pain in my abdomen... right in the middle, where your ribs come together, and some off to the right. It was a nasty pain, and I remember having had it before, many times, prior to my bypass.
Eventually, it made me vomiting sick. The only trouble with that is that it had been hours since I'd eaten/drank anything, so there wasn't anything to come out. I spent hours that night dry-heaving. Dry heaving sucks ass when you don't have rearranged innards, but DAMN is it even worse when you do. Anyhow, I called the doctor's office because it concerned me, the idea that I may be damaging my stomach pouch with all this non-productive vomiting activity. They prescribed me anti-nausea medication and basically told me to take it easy for a few days. Likely, they said, I just had caught a stomach bug from someone. Well, the anti-nausea medication didn't work, and I had gone 3 days without eating, plus, it had taken 24 hours for me to drink a 20 oz container of gatorade. I then got paranoid about dehydration, which is a HUGE no-no after bariatric surgery. In a fit of pure paranoia, I had Michael take me to the Emergency Room.
They hooked me up to an IV for hydration and began poking my abdomen with their sharp little fingers. I guess I made this face because the physician's assistant said, "OMG... I'll bet it's your gall bladder." I told her I'd just had an ultrasound taken of it that day, so she got really excited and said she was going to go look at it. I'll bet they wished all their cases were so easy to diagnose. Knowing the potential issue, they gave me shots for pain and nausea through the IV. It was soooo nice to lie there for a few hours and not feel that nasty sickness or need to hurl up something that wasn't even there.
At that point, the doctor came in and told me that they were admitting me, doing a couple other tests, and likely removing my gall bladder while I was there.
And so it went.
My surgeon told me my gall bladder was in bad shape, and that, when he'd removed it, there were stones the size of olives in it. WOW. I guess I was lucky it decided to act up when it did because it sure looked like I was in for even more sickness and pain and waiting for who knows how long to be able to prove what was wrong? It also amazes me to think back and realize that, if these were the symptoms of a bad gall bladder, then I've had a bad gall bladder for years. Every so often, I'd get sick in this manner, but it always passed. I'd always chalked it up to a stomach bug or having eaten something "bad".
Some things feel much better already. This pain, however, doesn't seem to want to let go. I'm sure it's just because I've just had another major surgery not so very long ago. I know that kind of thing factors in. All this, though, I'm sure will be worth it when I finally feel back to 100%. And I know I'll get there.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Week 14
Down 51 Pounds. Woot.
I'm afraid I might not have much that is very positive to say. I feel all cranky and downright bitchy today.
The saga of the miserable periods since having had surgery continues. I can't believe it still takes me by surprise, but, when it started last night, this understanding immediately crept in.
Ah yes... this is why I've been running at an energy deficit for a week. This is why it's difficult to get out of bed. This is why I'm on edge and my buttons are easily pushed.
I've known for years that I run an Iron deficiency during this time of the month, and, I guess when you really aren't taking in much in the way of food, that can feel magnified. How I'd love to do what I'd normally do, pre surgery, and eat a huge, bloody rare steak. But... no steak for 2 more months. I've had success with small portions of beef here and there, but I don't want to risk it and make one of my favorite meals become a nightmare. Nope... I'll wait until they've told me it's okay to have it.
It's important to keep remembering that this is a process, and the ONLY reason I feel so crappy today is because of Aunt Flo and her bitch ass ways.
I tried a crustless quiche this week. MAN was that ever good, and it was soooo easy to make. I was a bit ambivalent about the eggs, but it was only egg whites, and I had no problems with it. The next day, I tried a little bit of an omelet that Michael made. It upset my stomach. I definitely think my problem is with the egg yolks. That sucks because it's my favorite part. Maybe it'll get better in time, though. Then again, maybe it won't, and I'm sure I'll get over it. Some things that I can never have again are a faint unpleasant memory to me... you know, like caffeine. I don't miss it. Not even a little bit. There's something liberating about knowing that you're wide awake on your own steam and not because of some vile addiction.
I'm afraid I might not have much that is very positive to say. I feel all cranky and downright bitchy today.
The saga of the miserable periods since having had surgery continues. I can't believe it still takes me by surprise, but, when it started last night, this understanding immediately crept in.
Ah yes... this is why I've been running at an energy deficit for a week. This is why it's difficult to get out of bed. This is why I'm on edge and my buttons are easily pushed.
I've known for years that I run an Iron deficiency during this time of the month, and, I guess when you really aren't taking in much in the way of food, that can feel magnified. How I'd love to do what I'd normally do, pre surgery, and eat a huge, bloody rare steak. But... no steak for 2 more months. I've had success with small portions of beef here and there, but I don't want to risk it and make one of my favorite meals become a nightmare. Nope... I'll wait until they've told me it's okay to have it.
It's important to keep remembering that this is a process, and the ONLY reason I feel so crappy today is because of Aunt Flo and her bitch ass ways.
I tried a crustless quiche this week. MAN was that ever good, and it was soooo easy to make. I was a bit ambivalent about the eggs, but it was only egg whites, and I had no problems with it. The next day, I tried a little bit of an omelet that Michael made. It upset my stomach. I definitely think my problem is with the egg yolks. That sucks because it's my favorite part. Maybe it'll get better in time, though. Then again, maybe it won't, and I'm sure I'll get over it. Some things that I can never have again are a faint unpleasant memory to me... you know, like caffeine. I don't miss it. Not even a little bit. There's something liberating about knowing that you're wide awake on your own steam and not because of some vile addiction.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Week 13
Down 48 pounds. Woot!!
In 2 days, it will be my 3 month anniversary for my surgery. I'm still soooo happy I did it. I'm happy with my results and, if I needed to, I'd do it all over again in a heart beat.
Yesterday, before I got in the shower, I took my clothes off and forced myself to look in the mirror. I'm glad I did. I could see even bigger changes in some areas and how they're... get this... SHRINKING!!! I think I'm going to make a monthly habit of taking an honest look at my naked self.
Next week, I have my 3 month follow up appointment with Dr. Dan. I still have to go get my blood work done. Nothing like cutting it down to the last minute.
I took last week off from the exercise thing. I had to acknowledge that I genuinely strained my quadricep, and I had to allow time for it to heal. It feels better now, so it's time to get back in the game. We got an elliptical at home, so I spent some time on that. WOW. This elliptical is harder to pedal than the ones at the gym, so it's going to take time for me to build endurance on it. I'm ashamed to say I only got 8 minutes on it. Oh well... that's better than I did last week. I also got my balance ball and dvds for it in the mail on Saturday. I should be good with the variety in workouts. For now.
In 2 days, it will be my 3 month anniversary for my surgery. I'm still soooo happy I did it. I'm happy with my results and, if I needed to, I'd do it all over again in a heart beat.
Yesterday, before I got in the shower, I took my clothes off and forced myself to look in the mirror. I'm glad I did. I could see even bigger changes in some areas and how they're... get this... SHRINKING!!! I think I'm going to make a monthly habit of taking an honest look at my naked self.
Next week, I have my 3 month follow up appointment with Dr. Dan. I still have to go get my blood work done. Nothing like cutting it down to the last minute.
I took last week off from the exercise thing. I had to acknowledge that I genuinely strained my quadricep, and I had to allow time for it to heal. It feels better now, so it's time to get back in the game. We got an elliptical at home, so I spent some time on that. WOW. This elliptical is harder to pedal than the ones at the gym, so it's going to take time for me to build endurance on it. I'm ashamed to say I only got 8 minutes on it. Oh well... that's better than I did last week. I also got my balance ball and dvds for it in the mail on Saturday. I should be good with the variety in workouts. For now.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Week 12
Down 46 pounds and getting very close to the big 5-0.
It's hard to believe I gained that much weight in just 2 year's time. WOW. Yes... 50 pounds in 2 years. On one hand, it's easy to see how it happened... We didn't exactly deny ourselves and/or practice moderation in any way. On the other... it seems like quite a lot. Ah well... it's going away.
This week, I treated myself to a couple pair of pants. I'm not going hog wild with the shopping, just yet, but I saw them, liked them, and made them mine. I thought, at first, I may have to hold on to them for a bit before they'd fit me, but, when I tried them on... well... they're perfect. It'll be nice to have some work pants that I'm not constantly tugging up.
After we got our furnace situation under control yesterday, we went to the gym. Michael got himself a membership, and he, Tony, and I went to work out. I did some ab exercises that I'm pretty sure I will feel later on today. I already kind of do.
One thing I've noticed with my workouts is that it seems like my right side always does more than my left. I get these silly images of me being all bulked up and buff on one side and all scrawny on the other side. I have to figure out how to compensate for that and make my non-dominant side work as hard.
Tonight, there's a support group meeting that I'm looking forward to. We're supposed to learn about meditation and some chair yoga stuff. Everyone knows I love me some yoga!!
This week, I made some stif fry (minus the rice) with some shrimp and some very tiny pieces of beef that were about the consistency of hamburger. OMG it was soooo good, and it didn't bother my stomach at all. I think, when I had the hamburger before, it was the cheese that bothered me. I still can't wait until May when I can eat some steak, though.
It's hard to believe I gained that much weight in just 2 year's time. WOW. Yes... 50 pounds in 2 years. On one hand, it's easy to see how it happened... We didn't exactly deny ourselves and/or practice moderation in any way. On the other... it seems like quite a lot. Ah well... it's going away.
This week, I treated myself to a couple pair of pants. I'm not going hog wild with the shopping, just yet, but I saw them, liked them, and made them mine. I thought, at first, I may have to hold on to them for a bit before they'd fit me, but, when I tried them on... well... they're perfect. It'll be nice to have some work pants that I'm not constantly tugging up.
After we got our furnace situation under control yesterday, we went to the gym. Michael got himself a membership, and he, Tony, and I went to work out. I did some ab exercises that I'm pretty sure I will feel later on today. I already kind of do.
One thing I've noticed with my workouts is that it seems like my right side always does more than my left. I get these silly images of me being all bulked up and buff on one side and all scrawny on the other side. I have to figure out how to compensate for that and make my non-dominant side work as hard.
Tonight, there's a support group meeting that I'm looking forward to. We're supposed to learn about meditation and some chair yoga stuff. Everyone knows I love me some yoga!!
This week, I made some stif fry (minus the rice) with some shrimp and some very tiny pieces of beef that were about the consistency of hamburger. OMG it was soooo good, and it didn't bother my stomach at all. I think, when I had the hamburger before, it was the cheese that bothered me. I still can't wait until May when I can eat some steak, though.
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