Yesterday was my 2 month anniversary, and I'm down 38 pounds. It feels like this is going soooo slowly now. I feel like I'm averaging a pound a week, and, I get trapped into that feeling that "I could be doing this without having my innards re-arranged." BUT... I have to remind myself... I'm in this for the long term goal, which is keeping this weight off. Sure, I COULD lose a pound a week in every way I used to do this... The thing is... how long would that last? How long before I put it all back on... and then some? Yes... it was time to get off of the yo-yo plan, and this WILL help me reach that long term goal.
This past Thursday, I went to a support group meeting. It isn't one of the "official" ones through the clinic, but one a friend helped create and invited me to. It was nice to be around some people who are in a similar boat. I think I will enjoy it and look forward to going back. Prior to Thursday, 99% of the people I know who had surgery are pregnant now. haha. That was starting to freak me out a little bit, to be honest. I can think of few things I need less than to end up knocked up right now or any time, for that matter.
I'm sure it's time to kick my workouts up a notch. I'm going to stick with the yoga twice a week, and alternating days at the gym. My goal is to try to work in a weekend gym visit too. Every day, I'll do a some cardio, at least half an hour, on the days I only do half an hour, I'll do some weight training too. On the days I don't do weights, I'll do as much cardio as I can, ideally, building up to an hour. Now to convince myself to get out of bed earlier to make this happen. haha. Maybe I'll reserve the gym for during the week and do yoga on the weekend. I'm just thinking how I'm going to do all these things and end up having it benefit me... I need to find that material they gave us at the exercise class the clinic required. It says what, ideally, should be going on. I'll be glad when I get an elliptical for home. Then I will be able to do that little bit of cardio every day, even on yoga days because, let's be honest, I don't see myself doing yoga then leaving to hit the gym. Gotta keep it real.
It's super nice being able to wear clothes that I wasn't able to before. I think I'm going to have to shop for new ones soon here. That will be fun. I think I'm going to have to start with new bras. For a long time, I ran around in a sports bra because I didn't want to buy bigger ones when I knew I was going to be having surgery. It just seemed wasteful, to me. Now, I'm able to wear my old ones again, but they are getting loose even being hooked on the tightest set of hooks.
I'm still not being super adventurous with the food items... I made some chili this weekend. It wasn't as good as I hoped it would be, but it was good enough. I bought some salami and spread some cream cheese on it and had little rolled up salami snacks. Those were super tasty. Salami has always been a favorite of mine.
I think that's about it for this week. Speed bumps seem to be evening out, and that's making me happy. My energy is getting better, and I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.
Monday, January 26, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
Week 8
Down 37 pounds.
Last week, Tuesday, in fact, I decided it was time to head back to an exercise routine. Tuesday, I went to the gym, and I alternated days doing that and a yoga dvd I have. It's felt pretty good to get out there and move. I think it's helping with my energy levels. Truth be told, I'm afraid to trust that, though... you know... the way some people who have been burned one too many times are afraid to trust another potential douchebag. I've tried so many things along the way to try to make myself not only lose weight, but to feel better... less drained... less mentally fogged... Every time I'd try something, it would work for a few glorious weeks or months, and then... it was like the rug got pulled out from under me, and the fatigue and mental fog came swirling back in. I'm maintaining my optimism about it, though. I'm going to keep on keeping on.
I haven't really mixed it up any with the food. I'm kind of sticking with what I know works, for now. I did try a few things that didn't agree with me, like a hamburger patty. That was confusing because I've eaten ground beef in other ways... in chili, taco meat... you know... stuff like that. I really figured I'd be able to handle it. I guess not. Ah well... I'll wait on it a little longer. I'm sure I'll react differently in a few weeks/months.
This week's focus needs to be on slowing down when I eat. I used to be the slowest eater of any group I was in, but now, I'm always the first one done. Sure, that could be because I have far less food on my plate, but I'm thinking I could at least be finishing along with someone who eats faster than I used to. Even that would be okay, I'd think. All the info I have from the clinic, though, says I should be taking half an hour to eat. So, yeah, that will be this week's focus.
It seems to me like bariatric surgery is kind of like the number one rule of Fight Club... and there... I just went and broke the rule. haha. Or.. rather... it's like you aren't supposed to say anything that isn't a glowing review of it for fear of scaring off someone else who may be considering it. Let me be clear...
This was the best decision I ever made, and I am 100% happy with both my progress and my decision. If I had to, I'd do it all again tomorrow.
The thing to remember is this... It's a process; it's a process I am brand new at, and it's a process I am still learning. I know that my real friends LIKE it when I take them on my journeys with me... through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Ultimately, I'm a realist. I WILL paint an accurate picture of this for you. Furthermore, I have a right to reach out to my friends for support and encouragement. It helps me to hear from others who have done this "I experienced that icky feeling, and it passed" or "here's how I coped with this." Apparently, I don't get to be like 99% of my friends who have had this surgery and got zero discomfort afterwards. Certain foods bother me right now. Right now, I have constipation. Before I started exercising again, it was hard to get out of bed in the morning due to extreme energy depletion.
Guess what, though? That stuff passes. Eventually, I'll get to a point where I'm not having any of these problems. And we all have to remember... Well... the ones who carry the same motivations as I do need to remember this, anyhow. I didn't have surgery because I'm afraid of vomiting occasionally (seriously, it's happened twice), constipation, or other temporary discomforts. I did it because I'm afraid of heart disease, diabetes, esophageal cancer that comes with years of GERD (acid reflux), high blood pressure, achy joints, and all the other things associated with carrying around too much weight.
If you make this decision, don't make it because your friend used to be fat and now she's pretty, vivacious, and awesome. She's always been all those things. Do it because it's right for YOU and YOUR health.
That being said... I've lost 37 pounds in two month's time. I talked on the phone with my mom yesterday. In true critical fashion, she asked how much I've lost so far. I told her, and she says, "wow... I'd have thought you'd do better than that." It took me straight back to being 16 years old, introducing her to a boy I liked, and hearing her say "he's cute. What's he like you for?" It feels kind of shitty, but I know, at the end of the day, I've never lost 37 pounds in 2 months before. I know how to keep my sense of perspective. I know I was at the smaller end of the spectrum of people who have bariatric surgery. It comes off of larger people more rapidly. I'm doing what I've been instructed to do, I'm compliant with my program, and I'm happy with my progress... But... god DAMN... why do our mothers have the ability to slice into us that way?
Last week, Tuesday, in fact, I decided it was time to head back to an exercise routine. Tuesday, I went to the gym, and I alternated days doing that and a yoga dvd I have. It's felt pretty good to get out there and move. I think it's helping with my energy levels. Truth be told, I'm afraid to trust that, though... you know... the way some people who have been burned one too many times are afraid to trust another potential douchebag. I've tried so many things along the way to try to make myself not only lose weight, but to feel better... less drained... less mentally fogged... Every time I'd try something, it would work for a few glorious weeks or months, and then... it was like the rug got pulled out from under me, and the fatigue and mental fog came swirling back in. I'm maintaining my optimism about it, though. I'm going to keep on keeping on.
I haven't really mixed it up any with the food. I'm kind of sticking with what I know works, for now. I did try a few things that didn't agree with me, like a hamburger patty. That was confusing because I've eaten ground beef in other ways... in chili, taco meat... you know... stuff like that. I really figured I'd be able to handle it. I guess not. Ah well... I'll wait on it a little longer. I'm sure I'll react differently in a few weeks/months.
This week's focus needs to be on slowing down when I eat. I used to be the slowest eater of any group I was in, but now, I'm always the first one done. Sure, that could be because I have far less food on my plate, but I'm thinking I could at least be finishing along with someone who eats faster than I used to. Even that would be okay, I'd think. All the info I have from the clinic, though, says I should be taking half an hour to eat. So, yeah, that will be this week's focus.
It seems to me like bariatric surgery is kind of like the number one rule of Fight Club... and there... I just went and broke the rule. haha. Or.. rather... it's like you aren't supposed to say anything that isn't a glowing review of it for fear of scaring off someone else who may be considering it. Let me be clear...
This was the best decision I ever made, and I am 100% happy with both my progress and my decision. If I had to, I'd do it all again tomorrow.
The thing to remember is this... It's a process; it's a process I am brand new at, and it's a process I am still learning. I know that my real friends LIKE it when I take them on my journeys with me... through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Ultimately, I'm a realist. I WILL paint an accurate picture of this for you. Furthermore, I have a right to reach out to my friends for support and encouragement. It helps me to hear from others who have done this "I experienced that icky feeling, and it passed" or "here's how I coped with this." Apparently, I don't get to be like 99% of my friends who have had this surgery and got zero discomfort afterwards. Certain foods bother me right now. Right now, I have constipation. Before I started exercising again, it was hard to get out of bed in the morning due to extreme energy depletion.
Guess what, though? That stuff passes. Eventually, I'll get to a point where I'm not having any of these problems. And we all have to remember... Well... the ones who carry the same motivations as I do need to remember this, anyhow. I didn't have surgery because I'm afraid of vomiting occasionally (seriously, it's happened twice), constipation, or other temporary discomforts. I did it because I'm afraid of heart disease, diabetes, esophageal cancer that comes with years of GERD (acid reflux), high blood pressure, achy joints, and all the other things associated with carrying around too much weight.
If you make this decision, don't make it because your friend used to be fat and now she's pretty, vivacious, and awesome. She's always been all those things. Do it because it's right for YOU and YOUR health.
That being said... I've lost 37 pounds in two month's time. I talked on the phone with my mom yesterday. In true critical fashion, she asked how much I've lost so far. I told her, and she says, "wow... I'd have thought you'd do better than that." It took me straight back to being 16 years old, introducing her to a boy I liked, and hearing her say "he's cute. What's he like you for?" It feels kind of shitty, but I know, at the end of the day, I've never lost 37 pounds in 2 months before. I know how to keep my sense of perspective. I know I was at the smaller end of the spectrum of people who have bariatric surgery. It comes off of larger people more rapidly. I'm doing what I've been instructed to do, I'm compliant with my program, and I'm happy with my progress... But... god DAMN... why do our mothers have the ability to slice into us that way?
Monday, January 12, 2015
Week 7
There were highs and lows this week, but I guess that's to be expected. I think I started on a mild depression. I think a lot of that is routine for me, though. I swear I get SADD every winter. I've never been officially diagnosed, but I'm fairly certain I've got at least a mild case of it.
I feel like I've become so routine with foods and whatnot, like I have the same thing day in and day out. On one hand, that's a good thing. On the other hand, it starts to feel like I should be bored. Well... I need to be focused on getting enough protein. Bottom line. I want to be able to build up some muscle and not have my hair start falling out.
Last week was my first full week back to work. I realize now that 90% of my weight issues revolved around my snacking the day away as I sat at my desk. The first few days were hard, once I realized. It seems to have gotten easier, though, to just pick up that water bottle instead of reaching into a bag of chips. Knowledge is power, and as soon as I realized what was going on, it was easy enough to fix. The one craving I can't seem to put away is the craving for a nice, icy-cold glass of Coke. Hopefully, in time, that will fade.
They buy breakfast and lunch for us a lot, here lately, as incentives for working overtime. I've gotten to a place where I'm okay with the fact that I can't eat any of it, but man... so many well meaning people out there want to say those things... "can't you just have a little..." "surely you can just have some of the fruit..." no. no, I can't. I won't starve. I have stuff in my bag that I CAN have.
My incision is nearly healed, though, so that means exercise can start soon. I know that will help me feel better. I'm having a hard time figuring out where to start. I guess I can go back to what I used to do, the gym a few days a week and some yoga at home a couple of days a week. When it's nice out, I fully plan to take advantage of that by being outdoors for walks and hikes as much as possible. I even talked with some friends about biking and kayaking, so there's plenty to look forward to that way.
Last week, I wore these pants I haven't had on in 3 years. It felt nice, but there was that voice in the back of my head reminding me "you bought these as fat clothes 3 and a half years ago." Well... that's fine and dandy... my scale says I now weigh less than my boyfriend does, and that was my first goal, and I've hit it. Who cares if it's just by a pound, for now?
I hate the way I sound all negative about this, but, really... it's a huge adjustment. They're changes that aren't bad at all. Through all this period of adjustment and learning a new way of life, I know this is the best thing I could possibly have done for myself. I know my energy will return, and I know I will get where I need to be.
Oh... hey... did I mention that my blood pressure issue appears to be resolved? How awesome is that?
35 pounds down... and we're chugging along.
I feel like I've become so routine with foods and whatnot, like I have the same thing day in and day out. On one hand, that's a good thing. On the other hand, it starts to feel like I should be bored. Well... I need to be focused on getting enough protein. Bottom line. I want to be able to build up some muscle and not have my hair start falling out.
Last week was my first full week back to work. I realize now that 90% of my weight issues revolved around my snacking the day away as I sat at my desk. The first few days were hard, once I realized. It seems to have gotten easier, though, to just pick up that water bottle instead of reaching into a bag of chips. Knowledge is power, and as soon as I realized what was going on, it was easy enough to fix. The one craving I can't seem to put away is the craving for a nice, icy-cold glass of Coke. Hopefully, in time, that will fade.
They buy breakfast and lunch for us a lot, here lately, as incentives for working overtime. I've gotten to a place where I'm okay with the fact that I can't eat any of it, but man... so many well meaning people out there want to say those things... "can't you just have a little..." "surely you can just have some of the fruit..." no. no, I can't. I won't starve. I have stuff in my bag that I CAN have.
My incision is nearly healed, though, so that means exercise can start soon. I know that will help me feel better. I'm having a hard time figuring out where to start. I guess I can go back to what I used to do, the gym a few days a week and some yoga at home a couple of days a week. When it's nice out, I fully plan to take advantage of that by being outdoors for walks and hikes as much as possible. I even talked with some friends about biking and kayaking, so there's plenty to look forward to that way.
Last week, I wore these pants I haven't had on in 3 years. It felt nice, but there was that voice in the back of my head reminding me "you bought these as fat clothes 3 and a half years ago." Well... that's fine and dandy... my scale says I now weigh less than my boyfriend does, and that was my first goal, and I've hit it. Who cares if it's just by a pound, for now?
I hate the way I sound all negative about this, but, really... it's a huge adjustment. They're changes that aren't bad at all. Through all this period of adjustment and learning a new way of life, I know this is the best thing I could possibly have done for myself. I know my energy will return, and I know I will get where I need to be.
Oh... hey... did I mention that my blood pressure issue appears to be resolved? How awesome is that?
35 pounds down... and we're chugging along.
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Week 6
I've decided to start doing my weekly progress blogs on Saturday instead of on Monday. Usually, with trying to get my lunches together and get to work on time, Mondays are going to be too hectic.
I had my one month post op check up on Wednesday. The doctor says this incision is healing up beautifully and that I'm doing very well. I have no pain left anywhere. I forgot to ask about exercise, and he didn't mention it. I'm assuming he wants me to wait until this incision is completely healed.
I'm officially off of pureed foods, so I get to slowly integrate regular foods into my diet. So far, that's going pretty well.
I'm excited about all the changes and for all the new things that are coming. I can't wait until I can start to move around more in the way of exercise. I just want to be sure this incision is healed up. I really think being able to move will help with my energy levels. Of course... if I stop and remember how I used to feel, I realize that I do feel much better. My head doesn't feel as clouded and foggy as it used to, and, since I've gotten away from caffeine, I no longer have the eye twitch.
The first time I went to the doctor's office, they took a "before" picture of me. I stop and think now that I wish I had taken some before pics here at home. I wish I had taken some pics, and I wish I had taken measurements.
I'm officially down 33 pounds.
I had my one month post op check up on Wednesday. The doctor says this incision is healing up beautifully and that I'm doing very well. I have no pain left anywhere. I forgot to ask about exercise, and he didn't mention it. I'm assuming he wants me to wait until this incision is completely healed.
I'm officially off of pureed foods, so I get to slowly integrate regular foods into my diet. So far, that's going pretty well.
I'm excited about all the changes and for all the new things that are coming. I can't wait until I can start to move around more in the way of exercise. I just want to be sure this incision is healed up. I really think being able to move will help with my energy levels. Of course... if I stop and remember how I used to feel, I realize that I do feel much better. My head doesn't feel as clouded and foggy as it used to, and, since I've gotten away from caffeine, I no longer have the eye twitch.
The first time I went to the doctor's office, they took a "before" picture of me. I stop and think now that I wish I had taken some before pics here at home. I wish I had taken some pics, and I wish I had taken measurements.
I'm officially down 33 pounds.
Thursday, January 1, 2015
It's That Time!!!
Happy 2015...
Time for some more... what ever you want to call them...
resolutions
personal annual bucket list
goals
challenges
missions
...things...
I really see no harm in presenting a list of things I'd like to be more mindful of this year. Sure... I should... every year, all the time. The point is... I don't, so what's the harm in trying to start NOW... with the new year. Us Witches are all about new beginnings, right? I had exactly a 50/50 success rate with last year's list.
1.) That's far better than the lists from previous years.
2.) That record is more impressive than the season The Browns just finished.
That being said, I'm calling it good.
Without further ado... here is the 2015 list of... things...
1.) Continue working on getting into a shape that is not round. Yes... I've made great strides, but there's still a long way to go. It'll happen. I have modern medical technology on my side, and I'm GOING to succeed.
2.) Devote more energy and time to my spiritual practices. I did well with this last year by getting involved with a great group of people. I need to continue this path, and I need to focus within even more... my solo work, so to speak, needs more of my energy and attention. There is a call that I've been avoiding. I need to stop it.
3.) Get back into the habit of visiting cemeteries. I've always experienced wonderful grounding energies there.
4.) Get better at meditating. I didn't do so well with this one last year, so back on the list it goes.
5.) Read 5 new books for entertainment. I've re-read a lot of books this year. Yes... I'll do that. This year, I want to explore new stories and authors. I may blow the number 5 out of the water, but that's all I want to publicly commit to. If you knew how weird I was about trying new stuff this way... well, you'd more than understand.
6.) Not end the year financially broke.
7.) I want to stop being lazy about some of my friendships. Yeah... life happens... shit gets hectic, and things get in the way, but I'm talking about all those times when I could have tried and just didn't because of pure, unadulterated laziness. I hope people just know/knew that it wasn't because I didn't love them. There's just been too much funk in my life for entirely too long.
I think that's it for this year. Have a blessed new year!!
Time for some more... what ever you want to call them...
resolutions
personal annual bucket list
goals
challenges
missions
...things...
I really see no harm in presenting a list of things I'd like to be more mindful of this year. Sure... I should... every year, all the time. The point is... I don't, so what's the harm in trying to start NOW... with the new year. Us Witches are all about new beginnings, right? I had exactly a 50/50 success rate with last year's list.
1.) That's far better than the lists from previous years.
2.) That record is more impressive than the season The Browns just finished.
That being said, I'm calling it good.
Without further ado... here is the 2015 list of... things...
1.) Continue working on getting into a shape that is not round. Yes... I've made great strides, but there's still a long way to go. It'll happen. I have modern medical technology on my side, and I'm GOING to succeed.
2.) Devote more energy and time to my spiritual practices. I did well with this last year by getting involved with a great group of people. I need to continue this path, and I need to focus within even more... my solo work, so to speak, needs more of my energy and attention. There is a call that I've been avoiding. I need to stop it.
3.) Get back into the habit of visiting cemeteries. I've always experienced wonderful grounding energies there.
4.) Get better at meditating. I didn't do so well with this one last year, so back on the list it goes.
5.) Read 5 new books for entertainment. I've re-read a lot of books this year. Yes... I'll do that. This year, I want to explore new stories and authors. I may blow the number 5 out of the water, but that's all I want to publicly commit to. If you knew how weird I was about trying new stuff this way... well, you'd more than understand.
6.) Not end the year financially broke.
7.) I want to stop being lazy about some of my friendships. Yeah... life happens... shit gets hectic, and things get in the way, but I'm talking about all those times when I could have tried and just didn't because of pure, unadulterated laziness. I hope people just know/knew that it wasn't because I didn't love them. There's just been too much funk in my life for entirely too long.
I think that's it for this year. Have a blessed new year!!
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