There were highs and lows this week, but I guess that's to be expected. I think I started on a mild depression. I think a lot of that is routine for me, though. I swear I get SADD every winter. I've never been officially diagnosed, but I'm fairly certain I've got at least a mild case of it.
I feel like I've become so routine with foods and whatnot, like I have the same thing day in and day out. On one hand, that's a good thing. On the other hand, it starts to feel like I should be bored. Well... I need to be focused on getting enough protein. Bottom line. I want to be able to build up some muscle and not have my hair start falling out.
Last week was my first full week back to work. I realize now that 90% of my weight issues revolved around my snacking the day away as I sat at my desk. The first few days were hard, once I realized. It seems to have gotten easier, though, to just pick up that water bottle instead of reaching into a bag of chips. Knowledge is power, and as soon as I realized what was going on, it was easy enough to fix. The one craving I can't seem to put away is the craving for a nice, icy-cold glass of Coke. Hopefully, in time, that will fade.
They buy breakfast and lunch for us a lot, here lately, as incentives for working overtime. I've gotten to a place where I'm okay with the fact that I can't eat any of it, but man... so many well meaning people out there want to say those things... "can't you just have a little..." "surely you can just have some of the fruit..." no. no, I can't. I won't starve. I have stuff in my bag that I CAN have.
My incision is nearly healed, though, so that means exercise can start soon. I know that will help me feel better. I'm having a hard time figuring out where to start. I guess I can go back to what I used to do, the gym a few days a week and some yoga at home a couple of days a week. When it's nice out, I fully plan to take advantage of that by being outdoors for walks and hikes as much as possible. I even talked with some friends about biking and kayaking, so there's plenty to look forward to that way.
Last week, I wore these pants I haven't had on in 3 years. It felt nice, but there was that voice in the back of my head reminding me "you bought these as fat clothes 3 and a half years ago." Well... that's fine and dandy... my scale says I now weigh less than my boyfriend does, and that was my first goal, and I've hit it. Who cares if it's just by a pound, for now?
I hate the way I sound all negative about this, but, really... it's a huge adjustment. They're changes that aren't bad at all. Through all this period of adjustment and learning a new way of life, I know this is the best thing I could possibly have done for myself. I know my energy will return, and I know I will get where I need to be.
Oh... hey... did I mention that my blood pressure issue appears to be resolved? How awesome is that?
35 pounds down... and we're chugging along.
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