I guess because, when I do, it'll probably end up in the self-help section, and, if that ever happens, just know, ahead of time, that this was not by my choice. Why? Because I have a complete loathing and contempt for the self-help industry. Simply put, I think it's bullshit... all of it. Every last stinking fucking piece.
(as a side note, I intend to cuss like a goddamn sailor in my book, when I write it. why? because, if Corey Mother Fuckin' Taylor can do it, so can *I*)
I have no use for the self-help "genre", especially as it pertains to the interactions between human beings, be it on a friendship, professional, or romantic level. This market preys on people who feel inferior in some capacity, and the self-help machine serves to make them feel even more inferior. This, in turn, keeps a non-understanding public chasing after the next panacea that their lazy asses don't have to put the work into creating for their lazy-ass selves. How true is that? Very, in my not-so-humble opinion. "Let me see what Josephine Self-Help Book Author has to say about this because, Gods forbid I do the hard work and soul searching involved in figuring this shit out for myself." Imagine, next, the compounded feelings of inadequacy when Joe Consumer realizes he simply doesn't measure up to whichever prescription to success he is subscribing to this week or that he gave it his best shot and it simply didn't apply to HIS life circumstances, so it didn't work. This feeling of inadequacy, when added to the feelings of inadequacy that caused Joe to go looking for answers to begin with is compounded and is slapped with another "label du jour". It becomes a vicious cycle of disappointment and inadequacy as Joe continues to search for the holy grail... the ever elusive... ANSWER... On and on he goes, and this endless search just perpetuates the market for this kind of nonsense, and these false prophets continue getting richer and richer because, poor Joe, who looks for answers from external sources, is going to keep spending his hard-earned money as he continues searching outside until the point comes that he realizes this central truth: the answers all lie within his own soul.
To me, flaw number one with the self-help industry is that everyone thinks their answer is "the" answer. What it doesn't, however, factor in is that we're ALL different, even the most similar individuals are just that... individuals. While this bit of advice may apply to YOU and YOUR circumstances, it will not, in fact, apply to me or my circumstances. Furthermore, you have NO BUSINESS making me feel like a loser when your crap doesn't help ME. Maybe it helped 50-1000 other people, but that's them, and I'm ME.
To me, flaw number two is the fact that the self-help industry assumes that ALL people are rational and sane. Uh... HELLO... You're writing books FOR people who are fucked up to begin with, and you're telling them WHAT to say or do in order to elicit a certain response from other people, and you're basing those suggestions on the fact that THOSE people aren't somehow fucked up too??? Get a CLUE. We're ALL fucked up in some way. Period. Even if you think you aren't, you ARE, and thinking you aren't is probably your biggest problem.
"Do this for your man, and you'll get what you want". Uh-huh... This assumes that a rational, sane person is delivering the information and that a rational, sane person is receiving the information. This is the case rarely to never. Yes. NEVER. The person whose heart you're trying to charm your way into is, just like YOU, riddled with the drama and bullshit baggage of his or her OWN past and present life. It takes more than words in a book to figure out how in the hell to figure people out. The sooner you figure THAT out, the better off you'll be. The answers are NOT in a book.
All you really need to do is become a keen observer of human nature, learn to think outside the box, and LEARN the correct and hard lessons life slings your way. Go forward and TRY not to fuck up so badly the next time because the shit WILL come again, which means you apply the lessons you've learned to your future endeavors, but NOT in a self-destructive sort of way. Yeah, yeah, I know that's complicated shit right there. It was hard for me as well. I'm no saint, and I've seen my share of self-defeating, self-destructive days.
As a person who feels so strongly about this, imagine my dismay at the fact that a hefty 99% of the things I've written have all "helped" someone in some capacity or other. I write to plow through things, I write to figure out how to deal, I write to sort through feelings, I write to find my own answers, and, lastly, I write in order to know ME better. A side benefit is that I've, in some way or other, resonated with you. My words have mattered. I know because you've told me so. I love that. I really do, but, please understand, my goal was never to help YOU.
I know my answers aren't for everyone, but I feel they should be. I think it's a shame that too many people out there look outside of themselves for information their soul already carries. I mean... think about it...
"this book will give me the answers"
"this drink will take the pain away"
"having a billion Facebook friends will make me less lonely"
Putting the responsibility on someone or something else is just... wrong. I see this go on way too much, so if me sharing my pain, joy, and process of figuring this shit out causes even ONE of you to look within... I'm all about it. Let's go, and I hope you all enjoy the ride because, while I aim to help, I'm well aware that I'm far from a panacea. These are simply my life experiences, and, if they help you, great, but hopefully, they'll amuse you as well because, above all else, I aim to entertain. The thing is this... if you aren't willing to grow and learn, none of your life will amount to a pile of shit.
P.S. when I end up in the self-help section of Barnes, please try your hardest to not make fun of me. I'm already, in advance, scourged by the shame of it. ;-)
Cent'anni.
