I posed the question on Facebook, "why am I afraid to change?" and everyone took off with the assumption that I'm afraid OF change, which, to me, is different. If you're the type of person who can't see that there's a difference here, then you should probably stop reading my blog now. It may seem a game of semantics, but it's really not when you take the time to get to know me and the issues I face on a constant basis.
I know change is necessary. I know it happens with or without my approval/permission. I know it is the one constant. I know all of that.
I have come to the realization that I NEED some changes in my life. I know that it won't be easy. I know that I have to just do it. Yet, I haven't. I'm afraid to, and I am wondering why? I already know about the comfort of sticking with what's familiar and all that other horse shit. Someone tell me something substantial, or just... have my back and say, "yeah, I can relate." I'm frustrated, but I suppose that's what I get for posting my innermost feelings on a social networking website. This blog, to me, is different because of the limited exposure. If you can or will read this, I at least give somewhat of a shit what you think.
I know me... I'll take the leap. I will end up where I need to be. I'm not stagnating. I'm not. I won't. I can't. It's not my way. I'm a tough broad. I've got this.
People are simple minded and think we are as well. That is my explanation.
ReplyDeleteSee, now that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteI have made many major changes in my life in the past few years. One of those changes was resigning from a job I used to love and worked at for six years to take a job that was more in my field and more importantly, would allow me to grow (and it even paid less!). After nearly a year, I got laid off. I had a very difficult time finding another job and was unemployed for over two years. My decision has haunted me for a long time, because the job that eventually bored me, had no opportunity for advancement, and was stifling my creativity, was secure. It was known. It was comfortable. It was mine. For as long as I wanted it apparently. But at what cost? You spend 40 hours a week doing something. It better damn well be something you are good at and something you like. We aren't here very long. The objective is to enjoy it. Enjoy life. So, yes, I quit the secure job for a chance at something new and lost that job soon after. Do I regret it? Honestly, no. It's the only way I can live.
ReplyDeleteChange is scary. But it does happen, with or without our consent and control. And occasionally, something beautiful happens and we affect the change ourselves. And it pays off. And we find happiness. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm still affecting my own change. You can, too. I encourage you to do it. You may not always get there in one step, but after many steps you may arrive. The alternative is unpleasant to contemplate. It is to be scared your whole life, stay where it's safe, and whither and die. Many, many people choose this path. Don't be one of those people. Sing your song.
"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them."
- Henry David Thoreau
I won't be that "quiet desperation" person. I promise. Thank you.
ReplyDelete