I immediately liked Candi, the new wife. She's a uniter, not a divider, and that is wonderful for someone like me. She embraced my son in the most loving way. I immediately got teary eyed. Then she came over and gave me the biggest hug. She wasn't about excluding me or trying to take over my boy, which, I think every mother would fear in a similar situation. My ex didn't come to the ice cream adventure. He wanted to, but my son said no. He wasn't ready to meet him yet. He was within his rights to feel that way because, well, honestly, his father has neglected him for the past 21 years.
The girls, 9 and 7, immediately took to their "big brother". He had them down by the lake, where he taught them to skip rocks, and, again, I got teary eyed over the first exchanged "high five". The girls then insisted that we come to their picnic for the 4th of July. The boy agreed. He knew, in that moment, that he had also agreed to meet the man who had co-created him.
When Grandma had to get going, my son said he wasn't done playing with his sisters, which amused me to no end, given he's 22 years old. It was then suggested that we go over to Grandma's house, where everyone was staying. Guess that meeting was coming sooner than we thought.
There was no great fanfare, just a simple, "hey, stranger" from me, and a handshake between the sperm donor and his son. Candi and I "get it" that this is a big occasion, and I think we automatically had that family bond thing going on. The men, it will take time. Maybe he'll graduate from "sperm donor" to "father" or "dad". Maybe he won't. Time will tell. I hope the best for him and the boy because he is missing out on one awesome kid. His girls, though, are sweet, and, for sure and for certain, they love their big brother.
Codi (left) and Jessi (right) with the bears their big brother, Tony (center) gave them.
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