Why the fuck do people think it's okay to be so condescending and patronizing to their friends under the guise of "meaning well"? Sure, every word can't be well thought out, absolutely appropriate, or... just... perfect, but DAMN... Give a little more thought to the shit you say to your FRIENDS when they're feeling down.
This all stems from my feeling lonely this week. I voiced something about this on FB yesterday, and I got one of the patronizing remarks that we single folk tend to get when we have the audacity to voice our loneliness, "oh, it'll happen when you least expect it." Really? who the fuck says I'm "expecting" anything? Who the fuck says I'm not out there thoroughly enjoying my single life, making the most of it, working on myself, and being the best me I can possibly be with NO EXPECTATION of it all winning the heart of some unsuspecting schmuck? Who says I'm not doing it, ALL OF IT because it makes ME happy, proud of myself, and it makes me feel good inside?
Guess what? Right now, in myriad ways, I'm happier than I've EVER been, and there is no man at my side. I'm having a hormonal week, I feel a little bit lonely, and I shared it with my friends. fucking crucify me for it, why don't ya? Why not paint me as some clingy, whiny, desperate asshole who can't function without a man in her life? Because, when you patronize me the way you did, that's how I think you see me. In all honesty, I shouldn't care, but I think a bit of me used to be that girl and, guess what? I'm fucking NOT anymore. I'm proud of who I've become, and the fact that you said such a thing to me clearly indicates that you've paid no attention to the changes I've made in my life. That's the part that hurts. No credit for progress. Well, guess what? I don't NEED your validation because I know what I know, and I'm happy with me. Still, that doesn't mean I need patronizing remarks that are meant to "bring hope" when my hope will ALWAYS be in tact.
Bite me.
I know I'm being tested by the universe. Now, when I'm feeling low, I get to see a couple of asshole women with seemingly awesome guys. Probably they're all jackasses, and I have no way of knowing that things are so perfect for them. It just bothers me when ... well... assholes are happy because, at least in the case presented above, being happy doesn't prevent them from being assholes. Guess what, though? This guy isn't going to fix what is wrong in the pit of your soul. It is YOUR job to fix you, to complete you, and to make you happy. I regret that it took me so long to learn that.
I was happy as a single woman. I am happy as a married woman. My relationship status has nothing to do with my happiness level. I feel sorry for people who think they need a man or a woman to be complete. Complete your damn self.
ReplyDeleteExactly. That way, when/if you get thrown for a loop, you know you're not going to entirely fall apart.
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