Self Aware...

Day 9:

I guess I'm moving into the PMS phase of my cycle, which hits me at day 14 of my cycle.  Isn't that kind of early?  Anyhow, I can tell because I think everything and everyone (yes, including myself) are incredibly stupid.

I must say that I'm incredibly grateful to be so self-aware that way.  Sometimes, it pays to figure out how to get to the bottom of things or to step back and get some perspective on how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way.

"really?  there's no good reason for this."

"ah yes... you feel like this at this point EVERY month."

"must be the old hormone machine cranking away..."

This self discovery and self knowledge keeps me from completely going off on some poor soul for no good reason or from delivering some deserving ass hat a dose of nastiness.  It doesn't always work, but it is about 98% effective.

This problem, my friends, is because I am deficient in progesterone.  My doctor gave me a prescription for it to start this month.  I'm to take it from day 14 up until Aunt Flo arrives.  Last night was my first pill.  So far, I still feel like a cranky old bitch, but we'll see.

The key word in this whole blog is "perspective".  It is SO very important to be the person who can step back and take an objective look at a situation before jumping to a reactive state.  It's most important to be able to do this with yourself.  How many truly can?  Not many that I know.  When asked for advice, that's the lesson I try most to give because I've found it to be the most productive and the healthiest.

Anyhow... I hope these pills work.  Last time I took progesterone in the form of birth control pills, I turned into a raving lunatic.  The doctor says this is because the progesterone in bc pills is synthetic, and someone who needs progesterone will react that way to a synthetic hormone.  Supposedly, this stuff I'm taking now is natural.  I don't magically feel A-OK this morning, but I guess we'll give it a few days.   Until then, I will do my best to keep my perspective appropriately aligned.